Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Batch of Favorite Lines

Road Trip Wednesday has rolled around once again.

My favorite line from my WIP? Truth be told, I haven't officially touched it in a long time. I've been waiting for that special moment when I can throw myself into it. But I suppose that moment will never come and I'll have to suck it up and jump back in anyway.

However, picking a favorite line is tough. It's like children. You wouldn't pick one child of yours over another as your favorite, right? I'd hope not. And while each line isn't necesarily a child, I might consider each book my baby, and each line is a part of it, like a limb. ("I like my baby's arm better than its foot..." Okay, now I'm just rambling.) All I'm saying is that it's difficult to do, especially in less than 24 hours.

So let me cut to the chase. Last year I took a web page design class, and for our final project, we had to create a website for something that interested us, using blah, blah, blah. I used my WIP as the theme. And I saved the files and codes on my flash drive, so I still have it. And on one of those pages, I included the "excerpt," and three lines which I felt were pretty awesome. Maybe not my favorite, but summed up a lot of the book.

So I'm cheating a little. Three lines (which each are about two sentences long.) But I want to share them now.

And uh... just so you know, this is pretty much the first I've shared any of my book to anyone I didn't know personally. Big moment.


1."Well, thanks for getting your brother away from me," Olivia said, anger rising in her voice and sarcasm taking over, "but you can just go fling yourself down the stairs now."
Not even two seconds later, Chase's body pushed itself backwards and flipped over the railing. The impact was instantaneous.


Uhm, wow. That's got to make you do a double take over what you just read, right? It's completely unexpected, and shocking, and the last sentence is a little unsettling. No need to include graphics to stick that scene in the reader's head, right?

2. In the light of the car's headlights, a figure appeared almost out of nowhere, standing in the middle of the road. Benjamin slammed his foot on the break pedal, but the car came to a stop about seven or eight feet too late.

Okay, so re-reading this now, I already know there's a part I want to take out because it's rather redundant. Let me fix that.

In the light of the car's headlights, a figure appeared almost out of nowhere. Benjamin slammed his foot on the break pedal, but the car came to a stop about seven or eight feet too late.

Better? I think so. This is also a little bit jarring, which I like. It's shocking without being too over-the-top. And it's a different way of saying what actually happened. I almost think it's a little poetic, but that just might be me.

3. "Oh, God," Benjamin said to his reflection in the windshield. "I killed him."

The thing I like about this line is that it doesn't occur directly after line #2. In fact, it doesn't occur until a few chapters later, way, way, way, after the line, after the main action, way after Benjamin should be uttering that line. (I really hope I'm not giving away spoilers or anything. I don't think I am.)

I like this line because of where it is -- much later than where you'd think it would be. I think it's a real turning point in the novel and the character... but I'm not saying in which way either of those turn.


So there we are... my "favorite" lines from my WIP, if you can call them that. (Okay, my original WIP, not that one I've been struggling to start for the past few months. Insert involuntary "ugh" here.)

8 comments:

  1. I really like how you edited the second line and showed it to us before and after. I saw something in one of my lines I wanted to change, but decided not to. Maybe I should've done like you did, though!

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  2. Ooh I like how you said line #3 isn't directly after line #2. Very interesting. I'd want to know the in between stuff! Really like all the lines :)

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  3. I second Abby- cool to see the topic prompting edits! I like the image of him talking to his reflection in the windshield, too.

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  4. I like #3. It definately grabbed my attention.

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  5. Ooh #2 really made me want to read your WIP :)

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  6. fascinating! especially because you said 3 is not after 2. Intriguing!

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  7. Ditto what the others said--I think the space between the 2nd and 3rd lines adds a really interesting dynamic. Great lines!

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